• Franz Saint-Fleur

New York Pros and Cons For Single Men

Last but not least on our rundown is the US of A. Yes guys, the United States is a great place for single guys—convenient for many of us who’d rather not spend money on airline tickets overseas to find the party. Photo by Kai Pilger from Pexels https://www.pexels.com/photo/bridge-brooklyn-bridge-buildings-city-534757/

The best domestic cities for a single man are NYC, Austin, Atlanta, Sand Diego, Portland/ Seattle, Miami, and the famous Las Vegas. There are many other places in the States that offer draws for unattached gentlemen, but I'm narrowing this list to the very best. Let's start with a city that we all know, but many consider a difficult place for talking to women… New York City.

They Ain’t’ That Rude: The Big Misconception about NYC

“Have you heard the one about the rude New Yorker?

The phrasing seems to go hand-in-hand in public parlance. The joke has almost become too easy to make. Even people who’ve never been to the Big Apple themselves are acutely aware of the stereotyped rudeness most New Yorkers are supposed to possess. But is it accurate?

I’m going to clear this up for you. Some New Yorkers are rude, yes, but there aren’t necessarily any more rude people here than in any other big city. In reality, New Yorkers are blunt. They’re usually busy, with no time for idle chit-chat. Small talk feels like a waste of time to them. If you ask them a question, be ready for a short, straightforward answer that might even seem curt.

New Yorkers are in their own heads. Picture yourself going to work, especially in a big city with a difficult commute. Planning out when to leave home, what route to take, and exactly how much time you'll have before you're late requires attention to detail—and being regularly stopped by tourists asking for directions, or hustlers on the street trying to sell things, is an unwanted distraction from the task at hand.

These people are straight to the point. No time is wasted. And that can actually work to your benefit when approaching and attracting women in NYC: here’s why.

Dating Game in NYC

When you approach a woman on the streets of New York, you’ll typically get one of three responses. The first: she’s in a rush or uninterested, which she’ll let you know upfront. This is a good thing.

Have you ever talked to a woman for twenty minutes or more before, showing your sexual intentions, letting her know you want more than just friendship—and have her engaging in conversation, maybe even flirt with you, only to tell you in the end that she's just not interested. You both walk away, and you feel like you've wasted your time. Maybe even like a poor judge of interest.

In NYC, you won't have that problem. In addition to not leading you on, women will also let you know quickly if they're interested. It might not be verbally explicit, but giving you her number is a sure sign of her interest.

Of course, your success here definitely depends on your individual skills. Not that you need to be a Casanova to have dating success in New York—not at all. All I'm saying is if you have the balls to approach women and some basic social skills, you have a chance with the ladies of NYC—plus you're unlikely to get your time wasted by the uninterested.

Single men in NYC have another advantage: a diverse cross-section of women from multiple cultures. What’s your type? Your dream girl? Whatever your personal tastes, you can find them in New York. Whether that’s tall, blonde, blue-eyed chicks, or dark-skinned, curly-haired girls, NYC has got them. Even country girls live in New York, probably attending college. I once met a beautiful Mexican-Irish girl, with red hair and tanned brown skin; I doubt you could find a unique woman like that in South Carolina or Nebraska.

Where are the best places to meet girls?

  • Online – there exist niche dating sites to help you find your dream girl in the right zip code.

  • Events – go online to look up events that might attract the type of girls you like. (For example, I met the Mexican-Irish girl at a meet-up for "people of unique mixed backgrounds. I, myself, am Salvadorian-Haitian, and I was born in Mexico.)

  • Clubs and Bars – local watering holes in the right neighborhoods will offer a high potential to meet the right kind of girl. If you like Spanish girls, go to a Spanish club.

In clubs and bars, in particular, people will be more relaxed, not in a rushed state like you'd typically find a New Yorker. Unlike other cities, New Yorkers often go out in groups—that said, they're still in a social setting and open to meeting new people. Because of this, they'll be easier to talk to, although they'll still be upfront with you about their interest. The vibe is different than in some cities or towns, where groups tend to stick to themselves, unwilling to socialize out of their comfort zone; NYC is more liberal when it comes to mingling with strangers, as well as with sex—one night stands are commonplace.

In a nutshell, why is NYC a great place for singles?

  • Many sexy, available women

  • No time wasted with uninterested girls, or girls feigning attraction to be polite; the women are straightforward. If they like you even a little bit, you have a chance.

  • No “stick to your gang” mentality, especially in bars and clubs. People are more social in these settings than in other cities.

  • Sex isn’t a big deal for New Yorkers, so hookups can be easy.

  • Famous and exciting places to sightsee, explore, and play tourist

  • A wide variety of people and cultures

While New York is amazing, it’s not all roses, and I’m here to be realistic.

The cons of dating in NYC

The biggest drawback is the overwhelming number of people. New York has a crazy high population—nearly eight and a half million people—and the streets can be littered with people. And public transportation isn't always simple—the trains are f%&cking packed at peak commuting hours (between 6—8am and after 5—6pm). Additionally, it's expensive. It's not cheap to live there or to visit. A night out might cost more money than your monthly car payment. It's this reason that New Yorkers are hustlers—they're scrappy because they have to be, and they can sell. The people here are not natural-born hustlers; it's a result of their particular urban circumstances and the fact that the cost of living is so damn high. A small one-bedroom apartment can cost $1800 a month.

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